


Harboring a Secret

by Irhaboggles



Category: Danger Mouse (Cartoon 1981), Danger Mouse (Cartoon 2015)
Genre: AU, Humor, One Shot, Parody, Short, female only, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-20 18:40:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21286340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irhaboggles/pseuds/Irhaboggles
Summary: With Danger Mouse and Penfold busy, Colonel K selects Danger Moth and Professor Squawkencluck to lead some of the Danger Agents on their next big assignment: stopping a mysterious crime syndicate from raiding a harbor on the southside of their fairy country. It's time for the spotlight to fall on some of the other Danger Agents and see what their adventures look like...
Kudos: 3





	Harboring a Secret

"Are you ready, Moth?" Colonel K asked his secret agent.

"Always!" came the stalwart reply.

"Excellent! Then best of luck to you!" Colonel K saluted her and his hologram flickered off. There had been a robbery just off the coast of Brighton and with Danger Mouse and Penfold handling a mission closer to home, that left Moth to go down south and clean up the mess there. But it was no ordinary robbery. It was a full-scale, highly elaborate raid. An underground crime syndicate had been working off the southern shore for years now and they had finally dared to stage an attack against one of the landing ships. This was not a one-off scheme or something a singular villain was plotting. This was an entire network of underground, organized crime. As such, Moth was not the only one going. Instead, she also had Dangers Camel, Hippo, Baboon, Zebra, Wallaby, Woodpecker, Antelope, Mongoose, Sloth, Ocelot, Cuttlefish, Sow, Hyena, Ewe, Polar Bear, Okapi, and Penguin coming with her. And even Professor Squawkencluck was coming along for the ride!

"While Colonel K assists Danger Mouse and Penfold, I'm coming with you guys," the hen said. "Colonel K decided that this operation is a bit more complex than whatever Danger Mouse and Penfold are doing, so he decided to spare me and send me along with you. He'll hold down the fort while I'm gone… Hopefully," Moth and the others could see it in Professor Squawkencluck's that she was a bit uneasy about leaving her lab to anyone that wasn't her, but at the same time, she agreed that this massive ship heist was a far bigger, scarier threat than whatever Danger Mouse and Penfold were facing. As such, she knew that Moth's team really did need all hands on deck, even if that meant taking her from her precious lab.

"Well, we're glad to have you along!" Camel extended a hoof. She received a wing in return.

"Well then, are we all ready?" Moth asked once the greetings and assignments had been given and received.

"Yes!" the rest of the group replied, then off they went. Because they were such a large team, though, a single Danger Car wouldn't suffice.

"But that's where I come in," Professor Squawkencluck gave her new team a wink. She pulled out a remote and clicked a button. Suddenly flying down from the clouds was a sleek, silver jet. Every jaw dropped while Professor Squawkencluck looked quite pleased with herself. It was quite a beautiful, powerful machine, even cooler than the Danger Car. No one wasted any time hopping in.

The jet was so fast that the team managed to reach their destination in just over 10 minutes.

"That must be a record!" Moth remarked in amazement as she and the team stepped back down onto the ground. For secrecy's sake, they had landed in a woodsy area a few miles away from the port where they would be working.

"The only thing faster than her is a rocket," Professor Squawkencluck replied with another smug smile as she patted the jet's door proudly. Then off they went, armed to the teeth and ready to explore.

The day was spent simply gathering data. While Professor Squawkencluck and Moth hung back and surveyed the port as a whole, the other agents took closer looks at certain areas. Dangers Hippo, Cuttlefish and Penguin explored the waters around the port, pretending merely to be a group of girlfriends out to swim in the bay like all silly young women did during the summer. Dangers Camel, Zebra, Wallaby, Antelope, Sloth, Sow, Hyena, Eve, Polar Bear and Okapi all scouted the docks and ships, pretending to be anything from innocent passersby to people working on the docks as legal government workers. Dangers Baboon, Woodpecker, Mongoose and Ocelot, meanwhile, dared to explore the ships themselves, trying to figure out which one was being targeted and why.

Woodpecker in particular was very useful for this part of the mission just because she was able to fit into small spaces totally undetected. Ocelot was similar in that regard, but she could not fly. Though what she lacked in aerial skills she made up for in finesse and flexibility. And Mongoose was in the same boat (literally and metaphorically) as her fellow, furry, four-legged friend.

"See anything good?" Moth asked over the coms.

"Not yet," Baboon was first to respond. She had managed to swing up to the crow's nest in one of the boats and was currently trying to scout for suspicious activity from above.

"Nothing down here," Dangers Woodpecker, Mongoose and Ocelot said a second later. All of them were scouting the lower decks of the boats, Woodpecker flitting in and out of the windows while Mongoose and Ocelot crept around like sentient shadows.

"Nor here," Dangers Hippo, Cuttlefish and Penguin said as they continued to swim around the harbor.

"Talk about harboring a secret," Baboon muttered, chuckling at her joke. "But if only we could find out what secret this harbor was harboring!"

"Wait! Wait! I think I found something!" it was Hyena who first picked up on something suspicious. She had run into a dock worker earlier who, although he seemed normal, smelled… wrong, like a creature that had just spent the day swimming in the sewer before quickly spraying all the gunk off and thinking that would suffice. His stench wasn't unbearable, but it was noticeable enough that it caught Hyena's nose.

"He doesn't smell like the sea at all!" she continued. "He smells like the underground…" and that was how this team of agents realized that the term "underground crime syndicate" had just become that much more literal…

Over the course of the rest of the day, more and more clues began popping up all over the place. First, Camel, Zebra and Antelope managed to find more suspicious dockworkers. Each of the women ran into at least one foul-smelling individual and they were able to find a pattern that went outside the stench of the underground. Their uniforms were all slightly off. Most of the normal dockworkers wore bright orange vests, but the suspicious ones wore slightly darker ones.

"Stained from the underground?" Ewe guessed. Okapi sprung forward to one of the targets and she gave him a sniff. Yup. More earthy musk.

"But that's not all!" now it was Penguin's turn to talk. She and Cuttlefish had both finally found several odd articles of litter floating towards a drain that was dropping water runoff directly into the sea.

"But we didn't just find the usual water or flotsam and jetsam," Cuttlefish said, her voice gargling in everyone's earpiece.

"We also found food wrappers with recent dates on them," Penguin finished. She raised one of the wrappers close to her face. Even though there was a fair chance it could've just been a random piece of litter, the fact that all the wrappers were for the exact same brand of energy bar with the exact same date implied that someone had either eaten an entire package themselves, or that many people were eating them all at once. A gang?

So now the group had some more confirmation. There was indeed an underground crime syndicate (quite literally) and they were planning another attack on the docks. They were able to confirm that very last piece of information only an hour before the attack actually happened. It was very late at night and while most of the agents were forced to return to their private jet in order to hide, the water and air creatures remained out. It was Hippo and Woodpecker who found it out.

"There!" the little bird pointed her tiny wing out in the distance. After squinting her eyes, Hippo caught a glimpse of another approaching ship. So late at night? That had to be the target! After relaying the info to the rest of the team, everyone suited up for battle…

"Are we ready?" Moth asked her crew as they all suited up with arms and armor.

"Yes!" everyone else replied in hushed unison. Hyena, Wallaby, Mongoose, Ocelot, Mongoose and Polar Bear all bared their teeth in threatening smiles. Camel, Hippo, Zebra, Antelope, Sow, Ewe and Okapi all stamped their hooves in excitement. Penguin and Woodpecker bumped beaks, both of which were now clad in a steel cover that fanned out into an impressive and terrifying helmet. Baboon raised her weapon and hooted softly. Every woman in attendance looked ready for battle and it was a terrifying sight to behold.

Then last, but certainly not least, came Professor Squawkencluck. She was not leading the charge, that honor went to Moth, but her preparedness was most important of all. As soon as she gave the signal, however, donning a silvery suit of robotic-looking armor, the battle began.

"Let's get 'em, girls!" Professor Squawkencluck whispered with a savage smile. All of her comrades echoed a soft battle cry and then Moth began to lead the way back to the docks. This midnight raid was going to be epic!

It was the crime syndicate who struck the first blow. Even though the Danger Agents had done a fine job of keeping a low profile, their mere presence on the docks for the entire day had aroused enough suspicion from the crime syndicate that they raised defenses and scouts.

"I've seen that blasted Sloth for the past six hours!" one of the syndicate had remarked several hours ago, gesturing to the Danger Agent.

"She might be a spy who's onto us," another agreed before talking about how he'd spotted Hyena following him around for a solid 20 minutes.

"Then we'd better be prepared for some sort of attack," the crime leader replied. He, too, had spotted Cuttlefish and Penguin swimming under the waves for the entire afternoon, much longer than a normal swimmer. And much closer to the ships too…

So when the Danger Agents finally launched their attack, the crime syndicate was ready.

"You've got a lot of nerve, messing with the Beastly Militia!" one of their members snapped as he managed to nab Antelope and Zebra.

"So that's what you call yourselves? What a lame name!" Moth scoffed before lunging forward to attack.

"Says the group who made their scouting of our troops so obvious! Your standards aren't very high!" another one of the Beastly Militia smirked.

"That's because we were trying to lower them to yours!" Hyena dared to remark, giving her very biggest, toothiest smile.

"We wanted to make things more fair for you," Polar Bear agreed, rising to her hind paws and mirroring Hyena's wicked grin.

"We don't need a fair fight," the leader of the Militia replied, unphased by this threat of force. "We don't need anything. We take what we want without interruption and, tonight, we demand your heads as well as all the cargo on that ship!" and then the battle began.

It took nearly half the night and it was quite a fierce engagement, but the Danger Agents managed to pull through. For a time, victory seemed imminent, because there were only six members in the Beastly Militia, but after a time, the leader of the Beastly Militia raised the signal and several other hired mooks and lackies came screaming out of the darkness. Then the numbers tipped in their favor. But even though the Beastly Militia now had more fighters than the Danger Agents, their talent, preparedness, weaponry, training and cohesion were not quite as good.

The Danger Agents had trained together for years and each of them considered each other as sisters. As such, even though their numbers were smaller, they were much more practiced in the art of war. They knew each other's moves and fighting styles. They could convey commands with just a look. The bonds and familiarity between the Danger Agents made them stronger than the Beastly Militia and every Danger Agent brought her own special fighting style to help them reach the final victory, successfully defending the ship and harbor from harm.

Camel used her spitting powers to fight from a distance. Hippo and Polar Bear both had their immense size. Zebra, Wallaby, Antelope, Mongoose, Ocelot, Hyena, Ewe and Okapi all had immense speed. Penguin and Cuttlefish had a natural affinity for water as an advantage. Woodpecker could fly around almost invisible and land very painful blows. She might've been small, but she was insanely powerful. Baboon, Sloth and Sow were the heavy-hitters. Like Hippo and Polar Bear, they had immense strength. But what gave them the edge was that because they were all smaller, they were able to move a bit quicker. While Hippo and Polar Bear could act like tanks, slow but powerful and protective, Baboon, Sloth and Sow were much more aggressive and relentless. And Moth, herself, was a champion fighter. Despite her species, it was a grave error to underestimate her skill, strength and speed. She was one of the Agency's top fighters, after all.

And then there was Professor Squawkencluck. What she lacked in combat skill she made up for in intelligence. Her arms and armor proved insanely effective at allowing solid defense without hindering mobility. And furthermore, although she was predominately and engineer, she could also be quite the strategist when it was necessary. Especially with Moth at her side, the hen was able to conjure up ingenious battlefield plans that slowly pushed the enemy into a compromised position. By the end of the night, was it any surprise when the Danger Agents managed to win the battle? Sure, it had been a close call but, in the end, their team's cohesiveness trumped the Beastly Militia's brute strength. The Danger Agents managed to hold on long enough for help to arrive and, once the cops showed up, it was game over for the Beastly Militia.

"How?!" the leader of the Militia demanded.

"We've been harboring a secret weapon," Baboon replied, laughing again at her joke. "Our cohesion. How could any ragtag band of criminals ever hope to compare with a special organization of agents who have trained together for years and years?" and the leader of the Militia wilted in reply.

Even though they could not be arrested for theft, as the Danger Agents had stopped them from attacking the late-arriving ship, the Beastly Militia was arrested for all the destruction they'd caused while fighting the Danger Agents. The Danger Agents, meanwhile, received pardon from the dock owners and were instead received as heroes for protecting not just the docks, but all the ships who had come to land there.

"You saved me and my cargo!" the ship's captain said. He'd been forced to hide on his ship for the duration of the fight, but now, it was over!

"We were just doing our duty," the Danger Agents replied and they all exchanged fond looks before Professor Squawkencluck interrupted the celebration. She was receiving a call from Colonel K. He wanted to know how the mission was going.

"Well, seeing as how we managed to save the port and arrest the almost-thieves, I'd say it went rather well," Moth smirked.

"Excellent!" the Colonel said over their intercoms. "Come back as soon as you can. I think special rewards are in order for each and every one of you!" and this, naturally, sent a rush of excitement through the team. With hasty, but grateful, farewells, they quickly returned to their private jet and headed home. What awaited them was not quite what they had expected, but it was appreciated nonetheless.

"Well, guys- errrr, gals- y'see, we may or may not have had a surplus of jam due to something that may or may not have happened while you were gone," Penfold said sheepishly as the homecoming team returned to HQ. "As such, we have a lot of jam-based products for you to enjoy!" he gave them a nervous, hopeful smile as he held out a plate literally overflowing with jam sandwiches.

"Consider it a reward for you job well done!" Colonel K said, stepping out with a bowl full of jam-pudding. His mustache was coated in the gooey purple substance, but he was grinning from ear to ear. "It's a free lunch! And dinner! And breakfast! We made it just for you!"

"And it'll likely hold up for at least a month!" Danger Mouse was next to step onto the scene, also covered in jam. It really was not quite the homecoming any of the returning Danger Agents had expected, but they could see the good intentions behind the gesture.

"Eh. Why not? Food's food," Polar Bear grinned as she grabbed a large handful of sandwiches and began eating.

"Why not?" the others agreed, then they mirrored her movements and dug in. Penfold looked relieved as the jam finally began to get eaten.

"You crazy idiots," Professor Squawkencluck told him, Danger Mouse and Colonel K. It was good to be home.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Calvin, here's where the ladies of the agency get to shine. And yes, I did include your Militia as a cameo. Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
